January! Always the first month of the year. We can truly leave the old year behind and look forward to new beginnings and possibilities for the current one that has just begun. This year I was more than ever to say “Good Bye” to the old year. A year that ended with such an immense loss for us.

January was the first full month we lived without Nelson and although we have (more or LESS!!!) adjusted to not having him by our side at all times, it has not been easy. The raw pain we felt right after he died has eased but we miss him constantly. I don’t cry every day anymore but it still does not take much to get me tearing up, especially when I come across something I am not expecting (a video of him on our camera taken just days before he passed away), or when someone asks about him. The mother of one of my best friends said it best: “Time does not actually heal wounds, it just allows them to scab over. And every scab can be ripped off at a moment’s notice!” I know that for some it is hard to understand that I could grieve over a dog like I do, but to us Nelson was truly a family member and the pain of losing him is just as great as losing a human one.

Our friends and neighbors keep asking if we will get another dog. Eventually we will, but for now we need to let our hearts heal and fulfill some travel plans. The last two years of his life we did not want to leave Nelson for extended periods of time as he was getting older and frailer, even though we had wonderful friends who looked after him lovingly. We had really only gone away for long weekends at the most and would love to travel more frequently and extensively now that we don’t have the responsibility of a furry friend at home. We will know when the time is right and we are able to love another but for now we will take a break and enjoy our friends’ dogs and cat.

The winter so far has been nothing but brilliant weather wise and January brought us temperatures in the mid 80s. I am not complaining!

I took a trip up to Santa Barbara to see my friend Wendy graduate with her Ph.D. from the school I used to work at. I am so incredibly proud of her as she had to overcome many obstacles to reach this admirable achievement. It was nice to see former co workers, some of whom are wonderful friends.

Talking of wonderful friends, one of our “oldest” came to visit us for two weeks. I met Barry on Thanksgiving Day in 1987 and David has known him even longer. For a while we lived close to each other and saw each other regularly, but then he moved to Tuscany (I KNOW!!!). It was nice to catch up and spend time together and we made plans to visit him this summer (I KNOW!!!).

And to wrap up a month of friendships and (re)connections, I went to my friend Hayley’s baby shower this past weekend. I met Hayley through Team in Training in Santa Barbara and have loved her from the day I met her. I actually knew her husband, Nick, before I knew Hayley and I could not be more thrilled that they are expecting their first child, a son, who is due in April. I cannot wait to meet Baby Mullen and a trip to NYC, where they live now, is planned. It was a lovely even with fabulous (running) friends, friends I love dearly even if I do not see them that much any more.

And speaking of running: I felt great all month, even ran through a short cold without feeling crappy. I have to believe that Nellie’s gentle soul was shining down on me. Let’s hope February will continue on this track.

• Shortest run: 5 miles
• Longest run: 6.8 miles
• Average speed: 7:38 min/miles
• Strength & Endurance: 9 hours
• Spinning: 3 hours

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Today’s Running Tip: There will be no running tip today!

I never wanted to get married! Ever! Even as a child and young adult I found the institution of marriage so “old school”, something so mundane I did not want any part of it. In fact I still did not want to get married on December 1st, 1994.

Yet! Seventeen years ago today I woke up, went for a 6 mile run, took a shower, put on a pair of white jeans and black hiking boots, went down to the Santa Clara Superior Court House and tied the knot!

My mom was stunned into silence when I called her after the fact, . Believe me when I say that this had only happened a couple of times that I remember, one of which was the time I blacked out from alcohol poisoning in High School. Her only daughter, heck, her only child, had gotten married without her even knowing! In jeans! She eventually got over it and both her and my dad welcomed David into their lives as if he was their own son (the son my mother had hoped for when she was pregnant with me!).

17 years have passed since that day I threw out all of my resolve to never be a wife. I never looked back! To say that my change of heart was the right decision is an understatement. Although I had known for quite some time that David was the man I would spend the rest of my life with, license or not, I could not ask for a better husband. It has certainly not been all champagne and chocolate covered strawberries over here but we both realized early on that compared to what we had been through before we finally made our relationship official, nothing could tear us apart. Absolutely nothing! In fact every challenge has only brought us closer. Of course it also helps that David has the patience of a saint, is more driven than any other person I know and as hard a worker. His undying optimism has helped us weather many a storms, and so has his amazing ability to always work through any challenge that might be thrown his way. From the first day we moved in together David has always put me and our relationship first, has supported my need for running freedom, and accepted my weird attitude towards food and eating dinner as late as possible. He also buys me soy tea lattes and caramel frappuccinos whenever I want one or the other. We have had some incredibly good times together and I cannot wait for the adventures our future may hold.

Looking back on that day 17 years ago I quickly realized that this was really the only way I was ever going to go through with a “wedding”. David was game to do whatever I wanted, big or small, and the way it turned out was truly my day, including the reception dinner at TGIF (hey, it was good back then!).

At least my jeans were white!

In honor of our 17 years together here are 17 reasons why I love him:

*for his undying optimism even in the toughest of times

*for his love for Nelson

*and understanding how much I grief for this dog

*for always replying “not as hot as my lovely as my wife” when asked if a female celebrity is pretty or hot

*for his ability to fix everything and anything

*for his uncanny ability to budget

*for the fact that he can finish my sentences and often has the same thoughts than me at the same time

*for his impeccable work ethic

*for always looking out for others

*for always coming to my races and supporting me and my running buddies even though he is not a runner

*for his sense of direction

*for always making me feel save

*for the way he makes all of our friends feel welcome

*for always looking for ways to improve our lifes

*for not being afraid of new adventures and change

*for making me love him so much I would happily leave everything behind to travel with him in a Winnebago

*for making me laugh

Happy Anniversary, G1! I am looking forward to making forever last a lifetime!

Today’s Running Tip: Commit to a training schedule!

By committing to a training schedule and telling your friends, family, and especially your running buddies about it you will easily reach your running and racing goals for the year ahead.

Well, here we are again: the beginning of a brand new year. New beginnings. Filled with promises. 2011 was a tough year, both personally and in general. I have yet to meet someone who was not more than ready and happy that it came to an end.

I am not one who likes to hold on to the past too much or reminisce days gone by, so the obligatory Year in Review is not going to happen here. But you can always look at it here if you wish!

Personally, the biggest event of last year was the loss of Nelson in early December. Life without him is getting a bit easier but the void he left is ever present. A few of our friends and neighbors have asked us if we will get a new dog. Eventually we will, but only when the time is right and our hearts are open to love another. We will allow as much time to pass as necessary before we bring a new furry friend into our home and the meantime we will look back on our years with Nellie with great fondness and memories of how lucky we were to have him in our lives!

As we look forward to the year ahead of us we are excited about new possibilities, travel, elections, and good times spent with friends and family! And I look forward to another year of injury free running with some races thrown in for good measure.

Happy New Year!

2011 in numbers:

Best running month: 187.1 miles  (July)

Average speed: 7:47 min/miles 

Strength & Endurance: 85:45 hours 

Yoga: 18:14 hours

Bike Distance: 541 miles

Bike Time: 56:08:00 min

Average Speed: 15.3 mi/hr

Today’s Running Tip: Sticking with your New Years Running Resolution!

Everyone wakes up on New Years Day with the same thoughts: this year will be the year I will… (fill in the blank)! In order to stick with your running goals sign up for a race early in the year. It does not have to be a marathon, just a distance that you need to train for. A training schedule within the first few months of the new year will help you get used to a regular training plan and sticking with a routine!

SAD! How I wish it was the kind that can be helped with more exposure to light. Instead it is the kind of sad that is ever present and will only get better with time. Time! It’s been said that time heals all wounds and it is true that we are slowly but surely healing from the loss of Nelson, but I already know that I will miss him forever.

For the past week it has been a bit easier coming home to a house where he is not waiting for us and being home without him by our side. For the first few days after he died I felt like I was in someone else’s home. It was beyond weird to be in the house and I caught myself constantly following the routine that had been second nature for almost 12 1/2 years, a routine in which this wonderful dog played a major role. A routine I never once, not even for a moment, resented. A routine I truly loved. Just like I loved this furry creature. With all my heart!

The second week without him has been a bit easier. We miss him, but our daily life is slowly getting accustomed to not having him around anymore. I still catch myself thinking about him when we are out and that we should get home to feed or walk him and I still see him laying on the couch waiting for us when we come through the front door, but the rituals are fading. The grief is ever present but the tears are flowing less frequently, even though it does not take much to bring them to the surface. I still cry every day during my morning runs, remembering all the years he ran by my side, loyal and without complaints, no matter how many miles were on my schedule, rising early and leaving the house quietly so no one else would wake up at that ungodly hour. He was always ready for anything we wanted him to do, jumping with joy, ears flying.

About a week ago we were at a friend’s house when David asked me if I remembered a video tape we had of him as a puppy. I had only a vague memory of making this video and told him that if we still had it I knew exactly where it would be: in the kitchen cabinet, right behind the baking pans. Wait! What? I had not so much as glimpsed at the tapes that I stored in that location after we moved into the house but lo and behold, there it was: a VHS (!!!) tape with the Nelson’s name written all over it. Now we only had to find a video player… As luck would have it our friends, whose dogs we were scheduled to look after, have one as part of their bedroom TV and so we went over there with rather low expectations to see what footage we had recorded.

Let me just tell you right here that I am a skeptic when it comes to the afterlife. None of us really know what happens after we pass away and although it is a nice idea to believe there is something awaiting us on the other side we really cannot be sure. Logic and science tell me that energy cannot be erased and when a being passes on the energy must remain, but what exactly happens with that energy is unclear.

So…we watched the tape and there was Nellie on his very first day with us, a nine week old bundle of fluff and energy, all paws and tailless bum. Five minutes of romping around with me and our neighbor’s daughter, getting into everything, trying to eat bark and groundcover berries. Then there is a pause in the tape. Thinking this is all the footage we have David gets up to rewind the tape, and as he moves towards the TV a new scene opens up with Nelson eight months later in our living room, looking like a cartoon after his hair cut. And who but walks through the camera lens but Adrienne… Then the camera moves into the kitchen where my mom is preparing salad for dinner…And then the scene opens up in the backyard with five minutes of Adrienne playing tug-of-war with Nelson and his favorite toy… I sat there motionless with goosebumps creeping up and down my spine. We had not even the slightest idea that a tape like this existed, a tape with recordings of three beings we lost, all doing the things they loved doing most: cooking, playing with dogs, and tug-of-war. Maybe it is a total coincidence and the tape is just that: a recording of a day in time. Or maybe my grief for Nelson finally opened me up to receive a message that all three are actually OK and together. It would be so nice if that was the case. Both my mom and Adrienne loved this dog and he would be in good hands. And I have to admit that watching this and thinking about the possibility has certainly helped. So has bringing home Nelson’s ashes on Wednesday. The cremation service did a wonderful job, placing them in a lovely cedar wood box with his name engraved in it and we even got his paw print. I loved his paws and it is something I will treasure forever. It helps to look at his box and know he is home. Closure.

Today’s Running Tip: Relieving sadness through running!

Running doesn’t only benefit your body, but it also benefits the mind as running allows your brain to receive more oxygen which leads to clearing the mind. Clear thoughts help to relieve stress and sadness by putting things into perspective and enhancing your mood.

David and I have been keeping busy and the outpouring of love, warm thoughts, and memories have been overwhelming. Nellie touched so many lives and our friends, family, and the online community have been nothing but kind and understanding. My grief for him cuts deep and my heart aches tremendously. We are slowly healing and overall it is getting better but there are still tears and there will be for quite some time. He was such a big part of our lives and the void he left is HUGE!

David said it best:

“Today I lost a good friend and constant companion. I will miss Nelson sitting behind my chair while I worked, forever ready to share one of my cookies. He was a swimmer, a runner, a hiker, a beachcomber, a mountain goat, a guard dog, a cheese lover, a protector and most of all he was always there whenever we needed him.
He has truly been one of the best friends I have ever had, from the day I picked him up in Santa Rosa as a 16 pound bundle of fun, to today December 8th, 2011 when we had to say goodbye.
He has been an amazing dog and he has had a great life. Nelson has been such a presence in our lives and so many others. He gave us so much that it is hard to imagine him not being there. … But he will always live on in our memories. A gentle giant with a heart of gold, who loved everybody!

Farewell for now good friend, I’m so very glad I got to know you!”

It gives me great comfort to know that he never had to suffer. He never really stopped doing all the things he loved most, he even chased a tennis ball – slowly and wonky – with his good buddy Jack the week before he passed away and had his breakfast just before we took him on his very last car ride, not to mention snacking in the kitchen with David – those who knew him best know that Nelson never missed a meal, unless he was forced to. I would have never wanted anything less for him.

Such a beautiful soul both inside and out who wanted nothing but be our friend. He left giant paw prints in our hearts and we will miss him forever!

Today’s Running Tip: A good run can help you through the tough time!

Running has always been my outlet for putting things in perspective and coping with grief. A good run allows your mind soar and your thoughts to flow freely. It refreshes the soul and makes you feel better all over.

August 5, 1999 – December 8, 2011

~ I will miss him terribly

 The Last Battle

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,

For this — the last battle — can’t be won.

You will be sad I understand,

But don’t let grief then stay your hand,

For on this day, more than the rest,

Your love and friendship must stand the test.

We have had so many happy years,

You wouldn’t want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.

Take me to where to my needs they’ll tend.

Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.

Although my tail its last has waved,

From pain and suffering I have been saved.

Don’t grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We’ve been so close — we two — these years,
Don’t let your heart hold any tears.

~Unknown

Today’s Running Tip: There will be no running tip today!

I almost missed December 1st this year. All I know is that November flew by and all of a sudden here it was: December. In all of it’s glory it brought with it unusually cold Santa Ana winds. I know, I know! The rest of the country is living through snow and ice while we always enjoy the best weather in the nation this time of year. There is a reason Californians are also known as “wuzzes”, “fruits”, and “nuts”! So what? We love our heat and get quite cranky when the temperatures drop below our comfort level of 90 degrees. And up until now it has been fabulous. Balmy, sunny days with endless blue sky, a heat wave even. I am not complaining! Yet! Maybe! Because December is the month where winter officially sets in BUT it is also the month when the days start to get longer again and my least favorite season – Fall – will be over soon. Spring is next!!!

And for running this past month has been excellent. There even was a race. Yes, only a Turkey Trot, over before you could properly warm up, but it felt good to line up at the start and be part of the yearly tradition here in the desert. It starts Thanksgiving day on the right foot. And we sure had a lovely Thanksgiving at our friends house. Great company and excellent food. Then I threw it all up. Not on purpose. Just to be clear.

But tummy troubles aside I did manage to get a decent amount of exercise in this past month. Here is to a jolly December.

• Shortest run: 5 miles
• Longest run: 6.8 miles
• Average speed: 7:39 min/miles
• Strength & Endurance: 11 hours
• Spinning: 2 hours

24 years ago I celebrated my first Thanksgiving in this country. I spent it at Denny’s. Yes, the place that claims to be “Always Open”! And it was indeed!

I had just arrived “fresh off the boat” a month prior and really had not the slightest idea about this holiday. The concept of turkey, stuffing and the Macy’s parade was still as foreign to me as Pumpkin Pie. In fact I was so oblivious that I did not even know this was a holiday until I woke up that Thursday morning and realized my host parents were not leaving for work. Instead they were seated in front of the TV watching huge balloons pulled by humongous floats through the streets of New York City. I could not imagine anything more boring!!!

We lived in Chester Springs at the time, a small enclave about 30 miles north west of Philadelphia. Not much else was going on that day, which was OK as were packing to go out of town for the long weekend. Although I found it a bit odd that we had to watch the entire spectacle of the parade first before we could actually leave for our drive up north to Marlboro, Massachusetts – another exciting place! But by this time I had already learned that things worked a bit differently in my new home and I did not question intentions any longer. With my parents we would have been packed, the car loaded and the sandwiches and snacks prepared the night before in order to be on the road at the crack of dawn. Not here. We watched the endless parade, then started packing, and finally got on the road late afternoon. We took the scenic route through New York City, still buzzing from all the parading and since it was dinner time before we even hit the Massachusetts state line I got to enjoy my first Thanksgiving dinner at Denny’s. And no, I did not order their “Thanksgiving Special”.

When we finally arrived at my host parents friends’ house in Marlboro it was way past late o’clock but it was then that I met Jacqui and Barry. Little did I know at the time that they would become friends for life! With countless Thanksgivings spent in each other’s company after we had all moved to California. If we had had a chance to look into the future back then on that cold Thanksgiving weekend in New England – when I was still wondering whether I had made a mistake coming to this country – what would we have done with that insight? Let’s just say that it is probably a good thing that we couldn’t get a glimpse of what lay ahead, even though it worked out very well for all of us. We are definitely different people from the ones that met on that snowy driveway 24 years ago, trials and tribulations for all of us, highs and lows, that thing called “life”, allowed us to evolve. Jacqui lives back in the UK now and Barry lives in Italy, Tuscany to be exact (I KNOW!), and we do not get to spend as much time with them as we used to and want to but our friendship has endured and remains strong to this day. A friendship both David and I are grateful for. They are family!!!

Since we moved to the desert our Thanksgiving always starts out with the annual Turkey Trot on El Paseo, where we meet up with old friends and catch up on the year that has passed us by. Usually we are blessed with lovely weather, sunny skies and warm temperatures. In fact we usually have the best weather in the nation this time of year and consider ourselves lucky when we see the weather map for the rest of the country.

21:02

So this week it is only fitting that I list the things I am thankful for this year and of years past:

• Jacqui and Barry!!!
• sunny skies
• a roof over our heads
• the fact Nelson is still with us and doing well
• my health
• David’s health
• clean sheets to sleep in every night
• a solid marriage
• President Obama
• having a meal every night
• my friends who are neighbors
• bananas
• Facebook connections
• memories of good times
• that my friend might be coming home soon!!!
• being able to start each day with a run
• my iPhone (shallow? I don’t care!)
• the morning ritual of drinking herbal tea
• a fridge filled with food
• the fact that there will be another Mullen in this world
• my Welsh relatives
• friends on Twitter that I have yet to meet
• desert summers
• being able to call myself a citizen of this great country

Today’s Running Tip: Run a local Turkey Trot!

If there is a Turkey Trot scheduled in your neck of the woods be sure to sign up and run it. Turkey Trots are usually 5-K races, easy to prepare for and great fun to get out in your community and meet up with other local runners. Not to mention the added benefit of burning some calories before sitting down for the Thanksgiving Feast!

Although thinking back to the days of my earliest childhood memories and looking back on my life ever since, I was probably not being lied to.

Meals in Germany are big! The day starts off with a substantial breakfast

and is followed by the main meal around 12:30pm

For someone who has always hated feeling full, growing up in Germany could be considered torture (take that Gitmo prisoners!). My mom, meaning well, and trying to get “some meat on my bones” insisted on feeding me properly every.single.day. starting with endless varieties of the above pictured breakfast. And yes, you guessed it, lunch that consisted mostly of meat, potatoes in various forms and vegetables. It was usually cooking by the time I came home from school and sent me into a daily tailspin of rebellion. Needless to say my most favorite meal of the day was dinner, which is a surprisingly light fair in Germany. Usually an open faced sandwich.

This upbringing has had a lasting impression as I do not eat a proper breakfast nor lunch to this very day. The day I moved out of my parents’ house was the last day I sat down for a breakfast and lunch that had to be eaten with a knife and fork. And to this day I refuse to eat boiled potatoes and usually stay away from cooked vegetables, although I do love them “in the raw” and in a salad. I am telling you, childhood truly does a number on you!

I do like to go to restaurants, but more so for the social aspect of being with friends and having a good glass of wine and except for the occasional treat meal at Arigato or Ca Dario food is really more of a means to an end than something I cherish or even enjoy.

When I became a serious runner I realized fairly quickly that I needed to find a way to feed myself properly while remaining my sanity. I became a “grazer”. Instead of full meals I eat smallish snacks throughout the day. I have the hardest time putting food into my mouth first thing in the morning, but have learned over the years that I should not run on an empty stomach, especially when going out for a long and/or strenuous run. Hubby always makes a week’s worth of whole grain pancakes on the weekend which I store in the fridge for a quick bite first thing in the morning. I usually put some organic unsalted peanut butter on top. After trial and tribulation they seem to be working best. If they are not available I usually eat dry cereal, chased down by a couple spoon fulls of peanut butter and a swig of Gatorade.

After I get home I usually start the day off with a cup of herbal tea before I let the daily grazing begin: there is always a banana with peanut butter somewhere in the daily meal plan, the rest varies. Left over brown rice or pasta from the night before, a handful of almonds or trail mix, cheese and crackers, oatmeal with fresh fruit, a smoothy with soy milk. In addition I drink anywhere from 1.5 to 3.5 liters of water (it’s hot here!). You get the picture. It is colorful!

Dinner depends on the running plan for the next day. The night before my weekly long run I always have whole wheat pasta with vodka sauce and caprese salad. Always!!! Once I had a friend talk me into going out for Mexican food, a decision I paid for dearly the next day on my 16 mile run. These days I willingly cancel all social plans to have this specific meal, cooked at home.

The rest of the week is more flexible. Since we live in SoCal we grill a lot. Fish and lean meats, corn, sweet potatoes (not regular ones!!!) and other fresh delights. And I every night I finish my meal with three pieces of fresh seasonal fruit.

One thing I never do is cut out entire food groups and fall for fad diet ideas. As a runner you need fuel from all sources, including fat. And carbohydrates are your best friend. Personally I love carbs and have never ever restricted my intake. Carbohydrates provide both quick and long lasting energy and should make up about 60 – 65% of your daily intake. Protein will help repair tissue damage and assist with recovery. 15 – 20% of your daily intake should come from lean protein. Last but not least there is “fat”, and yes, you do need it, in fact you should take in 20 – 25% of fat per day. Be sure to choose low saturated fats, fats you find in nuts, fish, and certain oils.

If you stick with basic guidelines you will be well on your way to the finish line!

Today’s Running Tip: Running and weight loss!

If you took up running in order to lose weight, keep in mind that running does not give you the freedom to eat whatever you want. You still have to burn 3600 calories to lose a pound of weight and, depending how hard you are running, for every mile you run you burnapproximately 100 calories.