Monthly Archives: June 2010
I hate Good Byes
This morning, very early, my dad left to fly back to his home in Germany. He had been with us for almost three weeks and as always the day when he flies back home leaves me in a bit of a sad mood. Since I moved in with David for good all those years ago dad has come to visit us almost every year. He usually comes for a month but for some reason he had decided that three weeks would be enough this time. That is, he decided this long before he actually got here and towards the end he regretted that he had not stayed longer. But eventually all vacations and trips come to an end no matter how long they are and the good bye is never easy.
My dad is truly one of the best dads anyone could ask for. Just like his father, my Opa, my dad is a humble human being who enjoys the simple things in life: a good book, a place in the shade, a cool beer, and a soccer match that has Germany winning 4 – 0 against Australia (sorry Down Under). I have not met anyone who can get this immersed into a sports game, it’s truly astonishing. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my dad wanted to be a professional soccer player, and although he made it onto a regional team he started working in his uncle’s grave stone shop and eventually became a master stone mason.
When I grew up my dad was a major presence in my life. Although he never wanted children and only became a father reluctantly – or maybe because my mother tricked him into it after nine years of childless marriage – he was ever present and a real hands-on dad. I think the look on his face in the picture above says 1000 words…
Like my mom he had hoped for a son but never let it be known. The Matchbox cars and train set I got for Christmas were a give away however. For as long as I can remember we have always had a really good relationship with very little conflict. There were times, of course, where we disagreed and got into a fight but overall I have always been very close to him. He was always the one I used to confide in if I was in trouble, which happened weekly occasionally during my childhood. He was active in the PTA at my school and took over the parent-teacher conference visit after my mom could not bear listening to my teachers’ assessments of me anymore. He had endless patience teaching me how to swim on our vacation in Italy and always handed me the keys to my mom’s car when she was out of town after I got my drivers license. He did not like most of the boys I brought home but mostly kept it to himself. He was extremely skeptical when I moved in with David. The two met for the fist time after David and I had gotten married and I am happy to report that they get along just fabulously. Come to think of it, David is really the first guy my dad accepted without reservations. Both of them enjoy each others company which is a blessing. I could not imagine it any other way.
My parents were married for 43 happy years before my mom passed away in 2001 and when I had to go back to California after her funeral I was definitely worried about his well being. Little did I realize then just how fast he would be able to move on with his life as a widower. Only a few months after my mom had passed away he went on his first vacation as a single man and met the woman that would become his second wife, my stepmom. He tried to keep it quiet at first and did not tell me for almost a year. Something I still smile about because I could not be happier knowing that he has found a new partner to spend the rest of his life with. Someone who loves and cherishes him. And love him she does, so much so that she has a hard time spending time with me and my dad together. Elfie never had children and has a bit of a hard time understanding that the bond between my dad and I is unbreakable and is in no way a threat to her. We have a long history of family dynamics, wordless expressions, and inside jokes that we share and that is something that will never change. Dad brought Elfie with him on two of his visits and it did not go as well as we had hoped for. So now he just comes by himself which might be for the best. Elfie is always welcome in our house but I insist that David and I are treated with respect. And it really does not matter to me whether she comes with him or not, my time with him is limited enough and the last thing I need is created conflict. What does matter is that she treats my dad well and loves him unconditionally, which she undoubtably does. Honestly now, who would have ever thought that I would have problems with a stepmom? David tells that it is really her who has problems with me, but the irony is not lost on me regardless.
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to live closer to my dad and/or to David’s family. Living 7000 miles away it is a foreign concept to me when my friends talk about going over to their parents’ or sister’s house for dinner. My dad and I agree that family should be enjoyed in small doses and I have to say that I do enjoy the time I get to spend with him when he is here as it is true quality time. Seeing someone you are close to only once a year teaches you how precious the time you have together truly is.
Today is a mellow day as I reflect on the last three weeks and the fun we had swimming in the pool with Nelson, talking about the past over dinner, joking about old habits that die hard, cold Franziskaner Weissbeer in the Yard House while watching the Lakers, bike rides on early desert mornings, nightly walks with Nelson and the neighbor’s cat in a stroller, BBQs with friends and neighbors, SOCCER!!!, eating the best Kettle Corn money can buy at the street fair, and finding these hush puppies that were his birthday present to me so I can think of him every time my calves scream mercy.
Auf Weidersehen, Papa! See you next year!
In his honor I typed the entire post while in the background Brazil is playing against North Korea in the soccer world cup. Wait a minute! North Korea is playing in the world cup??? The Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Il lets his country’s soccer team out? Does he realize they could just not come back? Or does he think his country is so appealing that no one would take this opportunity to settle anywhere but there? Are they worried what will happen to them if they lose… more so than other nations? Is the goalie more worried than the rest of the team? Because Brazil just scored a goal which does not bode well…
Today’s Running Tip: Running with Dad!
If your dad is a runner and happens to live close by or even if he doesn’t and you are visiting him or vice versa, take time to go out with him, even if he is slower than you. Respect his age and enjoy getting to know him better. There is no better way to bond than through sports activities, espcially a long run!
43
This past weekend I turned 43. FORTY THREE!!! Meh! It’s a good thing I still love and embrace my birthday every year because they sure come around fast. I remember as a kid when birthdays could not come fast enough and yet they seemed to take forever. These days I blink and it is June 6th again – time to celebrate! David is not into birthdays at all and would rather forget about his all together but I have to admit that I love my birthday. My mom always made sure that it was a special day for me and I still believe that since this is the only day of the year that is truly about you, it should be celebrated accordingly. Meaning: just as you want it!
Of course there are different levels of birthdays, those you celebrate BIG and those you just, well, celebrate. The decades are always special, the ones in between not so much. 43 is definitely not a special age, although every year I am grateful that my aging body continues to allow me to run without major problems. Yes, there are aches and pains here and there and the occasional injury, but overall – knock on wood – it has afforded me to run long, hard, and always place in my age group in races. It’s pretty awesome and I try to treat it well. 43 years is a pretty long time to be alive and in those years I certainly learned forty three things:
1. blood is not always thicker than water
2. beautiful children do not necessarily turn into beautiful adults
3. when you move away you will find out who your real friends are
4. karma is a bitch
5. water is still the best drink
6. bitchiness is always written all over your face
7. Vitamin D makes me happy
8. the past usually paints with a golden brush
9. parents posting photos of “first tooth lost” on the internet is getting very old
10. CROCS are not shoes
11. road trips are the best way to get around and see the country
12. the fun factor on group runs outweighs that of solo ones plentyfold
13. wool belongs on sheep not humans
14. shoes worn for more than 500 miles pose an occupational hazard
15. the loneliness of the long distance runner is no myth
16. fleece is genius…
17. …so is cotton
18. there are not many gray areas in general
19. when in … (insert any city here) do as the … (insert any city people here) do
20. trying that new hotspot Mexican restaurant is not a good idea the night before a long run
21. yelling usually leads to nowhere
22. Livestrong is a motto I can live strongly by
23. your child is not the best and prettiest to the rest of us
24. beans are not your friend…
25. … but carbs are
26. once you become a runner forget about your toes
27. use deodorant. Daily!
28. if you have to ask if something makes you look fat you usually already know the answer
29. wearing someone else’s clothes does not give you their body
30. kids’ clothes should all come in adult sizes
31. no one looks good in leather
32. bananas with peanut butter are the world’s most perfect food
33. don’t throw rocks in glass houses, don’t even throw pebbles
34. trust your instinct
35. McDonalds is not a restaurant
36. just because you experienced something once does not make you an expert
37. stockings should be outlawed…
38. …so should the word “panty”
39. not all Germans love beer…
40. …or wear Lederhosen
41. “Life” support has very little if anything to do with living
42. change starts with each and every one of us
43. you are only as old as you feel
Today’s Running Tip: Age is just a number!
Age is no indication of your ability to run. Anyone can run no matter how old they are and I have seen many 20 year olds who have trouble finishing a mile and 80 year olds that cross the finish line at a marathon!
May Gray
I never thought I would have a title like this after leaving Santa Barbara, but… man has it been a cool spring! We even had record temperatures in May! Record LOW temperatures that is!!! And besides wind gusts that almost blew me off my bike we even had rain. I know, I know! We are spoiled her in Southern California, but we also pay steep prices for our sunny lifestyle.
The beginning of this month also marked the beginning of my getting back into my running shoes. As I set out on my first run I was quickly hit by the fact that one month of not running had set my ability to clock miles back to a crawl. Even though I rode my bike religiously, went to Boot Camp and other strength training weekly, the running had suffered. My legs felt heavy and I was even dragging my feet at some point, or so it felt. But slowly and surely I got back into the swing of things and was just happy that the pain I had felt for so long stayed away. And just as I had promised myself I continued to get on the bike once or twice a week for some low impact therapy. I cannot wait for the summer months!!!
I am almost back to normal and so is our weather. June promises to be fabulous!
| Total Distance: | 167.79 miles |
| Total Time: | 33:48:33 min |
| Run Distance: | 88.43 miles miles |
| Run Time: | 11:18:33 min |
| Walk Distance: | 79.36 miles |
| Walk Time: | 22:30:00 min |
- Shortest run: 5.3 miles
- Longest run: 6.8 miles
- Average speed: 7:40 min/miles
- Strength & Endurance: 3:45 hours
- Weight Training: 3:30 hours
- Yoga: 5 hours
- Road Biking: 198 miles
- Spinning: 3:20 hours
Today’s Running Tip: Getting back to running after an injury!
No matter what the injury, getting back into your running routine has to be done slowly and with patience. Too much running, too soon, too fast, and too long can in any combination aggravate the injury anew and set you back in your recovery. Listen to the body and back off at the slightest hint of the pain returning.