I have never really been a girly girl!

When I entered Kindergarten (the equivalent of pre school in this country) I immediately had a best friend. His name was Christian. Then in Elementary School there was Michael, who lived across the street and spent most of his day in my backyard playing Indians, pretending our bicycles were mustangs. In 5th Grade I moved on to High School (that’s how K-13 works in Germany), Michael moved out of town, and for the first time I became friends with a girl in my grade. But the more time we spent together the more time I actually spent hanging out with her twin brother and his friends, exploring the neighborhood backyards, the park, and nearby construction sites.

Then there were Ralf and Dirk, two brothers, whom I met in dance school. Yes, dance school, as in ballroom dancing. Don’t judge me! Rather believe me when I tell you that for my generation it was a rite of passage to learn the basics of ballroom dancing during your teenage years. Although Ralf, Dirk, and I had lived around the corner from each other for 13 years we had never met until we all decided to learn the Fox Trot. Those two became my best friends for many years to come.

I really have no idea why it came about that I was always more drawn to male friendship than girlfriends. Maybe it was the fact that my parents had convinced themselves they were having a boy when my mom was pregnant with yours truly. My dad, determined to make the best of the circumstance he found himself in, went ahead and bought me a train set, took me to soccer matches, and was delighted when I refused to play with dolls but chose cars instead. Or maybe it was the fact that my friendships with boys remained drama free, especially as we all grew older and more hormonal.

We have all been through High School and therefore all know how crazy the estrogen can make developing females. Holy cow! The bitchiness was relentless and I wanted nothing to do with it. While the girls in my grade were constantly turning on one another and talking smack behind each other’s backs I enjoyed spending time with people who truly enjoyed my company and whom I could trust not to turn against me at a moments notice. I was often labeled one of the mean girls but it had more to do with my aloofness towards females cliques than it did with my attitude towards my fellow classmates. I could have cared less than to put them down and be mean. Yes, there were definitely moments where I did things I am not proud of, mostly they had something to do with a girl falling head over heals in love with one of my male friends, but overall I can honestly say that the drama free life suited me just fine. It still does!

I recently watched and episode of “The Real Housewives on New York City” (what?), the episode where Jill and Bethenny had a full on smack down… And whereas Bethenny tried over and over again to make amends with Jill, Jill just continuously blew her off. To think that those two were apparently best friends, so much so, that Jill’s mother told her daughter’s friend she would be happy to be her mom too. I have not seen the entire show so I have no idea what happened to cause this rift, but I can tell you this much: if that’s friendship between women then I’d rather do without. Here is Bethenny begging, pleading with Jill to please discuss things with her or at least tell her what she had done wrong, and there is Jill showing her cold shoulder. Now, I understand that this is “Reality” TV and footage is edited to heighten the drama but it’s not that I have not also witnessed such behavior in real life.

The only time in my life when I came close to being part of a group of women who were friends was when I lived in Santa Barbara. And the back stabbing, jealousy and ridiculousness that went around was enough to last me a lifetime of “not ever again”. And this was a group of friends who was not even openly hostile towards each other. I cannot imagine what THAT would have been like. And it’s not that I don’t like women or having girlfriends. I do, and I have plenty but they are not part of the same group and I truly believe that groups of women only end up despising each other. I have yet to see a functioning one. It must be the group dynamic that does things to the female brain that turns them into something that rhymes with “witches”. It seems they just cannot be happy with and for each other but instead need to put each other down. And those who naively believe that their circle of girly friends is different from all the others are usually the ones most betrayed.

I, for one, will stick with having a variety of friends, both male and female, some of whom know each other and some who have never met and might never meet. It works just fine that way!

Today’s Running Tip: Run with a buddy or a group!

Buddy and/or group runs are a great way to spend time with like minded people that can keep you motivated when having to get up early and/or when a long run is on your training schedule. Long lasting friendships can be formed during those runs! Both with boys and girls!!!