One of my all time favorite blogs, the blog that introduced me to the black hole of blogging so many years ago I actually forgot how I found her musings in the first place, has an interesting link up on her site. She is part of a group of Mommy Bloggers that hold weekly “Momversations“. This week’s subject are those who are “Childfree-by-Choice”. It feels personal! 

Listening to Heather and her Momversation friends I realized that I actually had no idea that there is a whole wide world of anti Mommy Bloggers out there. I have honestly been completely and blissfully oblivious of the fact that such a universe could possibly exist. And from what Heather and her friends are telling us, a part of that universe is quite hostile, as if we do not have to deal with enough hostile fire in the real world already. Now, I have not checked out any of the “Childfree-by-Choice” blogs and I must admit I hesitate to do so. It does not sound pretty. From what I understand some people who choose to be without child take issue with those who choose to be parents, from the annoyance that young children apparently bring into their child free existence while sitting in a coffee shop, to the tax deductions and maternity leave parents enjoy. I am having a hard time right now wrapping my head around this. And the reason I have such a hard time with this is that I am a CFBC myself. Don’t get me wrong, I actually like kids. Who does not fall for the freshness and cuddliness of a newborn, their tiny perfection?  I love toddlers and their wonderment at the world, their excitement and innocence. Heck, I can even find likable traits in teenagers and all their angst on the way to maturity (some obviously take long route, some prefer a short cut), even if only to count my blessings that those days are long gone. It’s all good, but it has never been for me. I certainly embrace the pregnancies of my friends to the fullest. And the fact that they give me an excuse to shop at Baby Gap have everything nothing to do with this. This choice of staying child free did not come with age, for as long as I can remember I never pictured myself as a mother. I distinctly remember numerous conversations in my early teens with my grandmother (for whom not having children was something unimaginable and cause for booking a life long visitation with the shrink, or at least until you came to your senses) during which I announced that I never wanted to have children of my own. To ease the depth of her disappointment my grandmother would always dismiss me with a wave of her hand and say “Ah, child, you have no idea what you are talking about. You are way too young to make this choice and will change your mind one day!” But deep down she knew her granddaughter well enough to know that a change of mind was probably not in the cards.

And here we are, a couple of decades later, and I have probably caused grandma to turn in her grave many times over. Probably every time it gets frisky with Hubby… ahem!!!

And grandma was not the only one who showed outrage. When Hubby and I first moved in together the question we used to hear was “When will you get married?”. Once we became husband and wife the obvious question used to be “When will you have children?”. When we answered “probably never” we usually got two reactions: utter disbelieve, as if the universe would fall off of its axis if we broke what is conceived (pardon the pun) as the natural progression of adult life. Or the dismissive hand wave I had seen grandma perfect over the years in which she dismissed my barren idea as stubbornness “Ah, you’ll change your mind. I used to be like you, then I reached my thirties…” and on and on it went. The thirties seem to be that magical age when even the most hardened of women (and men) who had envisioned an existence without diaper genies, spit up cloths, and swing sets, finally cave in to the ticking of their biological clock and procreate already. And apparently, according to those who caved, my time was coming. But, it never did! I am just like Oprah!

I have to admit that there have been times when I wondered what it would be like to have children, what it would feel like to be pregnant, what kind of mother I would be, but in the end I honestly never ever had the urge to find out, not even for one minute. And that clock that was about to start ticking? Well it is ticking somewhere but not anywhere near me. 

Being childless, I have never wasted given thought to the fact that I do not get to enjoy the right to take maternity leave. And I am stunned that there are actually people out there who choose not to have children and resent the absence of maternity leave in their lives. As if it was some sort of privilege, a luxury even, that should not be limited to those who are preparing to push the equivalent of a watermelon through the eye of a needle, immediately followed by the sleepless chaos and drowning mounds of noxious diapers that come with an infant. No, everyone should enjoy such a blessed time off from employment. What world do we live in where maternity leave becomes discriminatory? Where it is a affront to your chosen child free live when a mother enters a coffee shop with her toddler? It is certainly not a world I want to be part of and therefore I shall refuse to venture into the blogosphere of “Childfree-by-Choice”. My time is too precious. After all I am busy counting all the blessings of my childless existence.

Today’s Running Tip: Jogging Strollers are a great investment!

If you are a new mom who enjoys running, buying a good jogging stroller is one of the best investments you can make. It allows you to keep doing what you love after the birth of your child and gets you both out into the fresh air.