I am a very judgmental person. When I first meet someone I immediately form an opinion about them. It is not something I choose to do, it is just something that is. I used to feel guilty about this trait of mine and never openly admitted it until a couple of years ago. Then I read the book “Blink” (if you have not read it you missed out!). After years of struggling with my judgmental self I finally found an entire book that validated my “first impression theory”. A book that explained that I was not a bad person for believing that first impressions are valid and sound. And I truly do. In all of my life I have only been wrong twice, and both times it was very easy for me to admit that I had been wrong (note: those two people will never know!). In all other cases of meeting new people I have been correct. Maybe it was not always obvious at first, but in the end I have always gotten my validation. 

There is something to be said about first impressions. But they really only work if you know absolutely nothing about the person you just met. Only then are you neither influenced by past experiences with this new person nor can you be blinded by other people’s opinions.

I have found that a lot of people are judgmental about people who rely first impressions. Many, many people live in a gray world whereas people like me live in a very defined “black and white” universe. We make instant decisions and hardly ever look back. This does not seem to go down well with many of our fellow citizens. I cannot tell you how many times I have heard “Give him/her a second chance!” when the impression was on the negative side, and although I understand that people mean well it is not something that comes to me easily. The first impression always hangs like a shadow over all future going ons and chances are we might get along but we will probably never be good friends. 

The flip side to this is of course a situation where the first impression is a thoroughly positive one. In this instant you will have found a friend for life, someone who will be there for you at every milestone, corner, hurdle, in good time and in bad, someone who will fiercely protect you and will be loyal until the end of days. Loving someone does not come easy to me but when I do, I will love that person forever. I also rarely find myself in overwhelmingly joyous situations, but when I do I will seek to repeat it over and over again. This, amongst other things, explains my passion for running and the unrelenting need to lace up my shoes every day. 

To not scare everyone off completely I have to clarify that most first encounters are positive ones. In general I like people and making new friends, I am an extremely social human who has always had a reasonable size circle of friends and have always tried to be a good friend to all of them, be there in need, support them through difficult times, join them in celebrating good times, and find happiness in their good fortune. Obviously they have earned my friendship (remember, how I started out this post) and so they deserve my giving back to them in more ways than one. And it’s not that I need to see my friends in person all the time. Many of my friends live in different parts of country and a few live in different parts of the world. Sometimes I don’t hear from one in a couple of months and when we finally connect we can just continue where we left off.  I love that!!!

And then of course there is the world of Social Media! Are you hearing my cheers!?!?!? Because, yes, I am a fan! I read and leave comments on blogs, I use Facebook and do not get scared off by their new TOS (Get real, People. If you do not want the whole world to see your compromising self, do not post it on the internet. Anywhere!), I am following (Lance Armstrong, you are one busy man!) and being followed on Twitter. Over the years I have come to trust and rely on my judgment when I “meet” people through various online channels. Something will always tell me whom to block and whom to allow a glimpse into my online world. So if your profile photo is one that shows me more of your person than I ever wanted to see, my first impression tells me to stay away, and I believe I can live a happy life without your acquaintance.

Today’s Running Tip: Running with friends is better!

“Princeton University scientists say they’ve determined exercising in groups, rather than alone, produces better results and is better for the brain.” ~ Physorg.com