Everyone seems to be going with the theme of “looking back” this day and although I am usually one to look forward I don’t want to feel left out. I always use the last run of the outgoing year as a time to reflect on the last 12 months. 2008 has been a year of change in every sense of the word and its context gave me enough to ponder over on this morning’s early run through the quiet streets of our neighborhood. As I took each step I thought about the significant event(s) that marked each and every one of the past 12 months.

January: The year began with National Session in Santa Barbara, one of the highlights of my old job as an Events Coordinator. And even though I loved every aspect of this job, the National Sessions were by far my favorite weeks. This Winter Session was significant as it marked my last event. I had given notice the day we all returned from the Holiday break. Hubby and I had taken inventory of our life the previous six months and decided that it was best for us to move to our house in the desert permanently. We knew we would miss the coast that we had come to love, the community we had come to cherish and the small town feel, but we had come to the juncture where it was just time for us to move on. The Session in January was therefore bitter sweet. On one hand I was sad to say “Farewell” to faculty and students that had been part of my life for so long, on the other hand I was excited for living full time in the desert (did I mention I LOVE heat!). The two weeks of Winter Session I stayed with one of my best friends in a house overlooking the city and Pacific, the weather was absolutely perfect, sunny, balmy and deep blue skies, and I had one of the best two weeks of my life. A fitting end to a wonderful decade in one of the most beautiful places I know.

February was marked by my last day at a job I had loved for eight years. I can honestly say that I had woken up every day looking forward to going to work, without exception! I never dreaded Monday mornings or that first day after returning from vacation. I went to work with joy every.single.day! It was not easy for me to leave it behind but I realized it was the best decision Hubby and I could make for us. There was a Good-Bye Get Together, farewell cards, and a bittersweet feeling surrounding my last day in the office (in the end I got over it!)

In March Hubby reached a major milestone by turning 50. It is still hard for me to believe that the man I met before his 30th birthday is now 20 years older. As I look back on those 20 years I realize that I could fill an entire book with lessons learned, disasters averted, heartbreaks mended, and good times celebrated. He tells me he is half way through his life, if that! And it is hard to argue with such optimism and zest for life. I, for one look forward to the next half that we will be spending together in its entirety. And I hope “entirety” means forever!

When you live in the Californian desert the month of April marks the beginning of the summer season. The temperatures are starting to rise and the “snow birds” are starting to pack up and head north to the Dakotas, Minnesota, British Columbia, and Washington State. The community quiets and starts locking down for the long and hot summer season. Personally I love April as spring is well on its way and the path to the endless summer lays clear ahead. April 2008 was no different. Early on I travelled to the gates of Disney Land to meet up with good friends from my former work. By the time I got back, summer was in full swing and the temperatures reached the 90 degree mark. Good times were yet to come, or so we thought…

Unfortunately we had to get through May first. May was overshadowed by the death of my father-in-law. He had been ill for a few years but was actually doing well when we had last seen him the previous summer. In the end his cancer took over with a rapid fury and could no longer be kept in check. As we rushed to get last minute tickets booked (always a highlight!), the dog looked after, the bags packed for Welsh climates (take Wellies!) I realized that this was the first time Hubby would lose a family member and the significance and pain that this loss would bring was not lost on me (no pun intended!). I had seen my mom pass away from cancer and knew what to expect but Hubby really had no idea until the moment he walked into Dad’s hospital room and saw the extend of the ravage cancer leaves behind on a dying person. A cruel reminder to all of us who are healthy how fleeting good health and youth really are. Dad fought a hard fight, one that he could no longer win, but one he definitely fought to his last breath. We were grateful to be able to spend his last few days with him and that his suffering had come to an end. It was good to be with family and we stayed on for some time to celebrate Dad’s life.

My favorite day of the year, every year, happens in June and “coincidentally” falls on my birthday. Call me selfish but I absolutely cherish the day I was born. It is the only day of the year that solely belongs to you and I usually milk it for all it’s worth without shame! So there! It is not that I do not celebrate everybody else’s birthday but mine remains special. This one was no exception.

After the celebration for yours truly had run its course I went up to Santa Barbara in early July to honor one of my best friend’s new status as a bride-to-be. It was a fabulous afternoon in one of Santa Barbara’s backyards and I once again counted my blessings that my wedding affair was on the low key side. At the same time we rolled out the carpet for my beautiful Italian friend’s bridal shower the Gap Fire was raging a few miles up the road. Another friend of mine lives in the general area of said fire and when I checked on her I almost passed out from smoke inhalation. The conditions were beyond anything I could have imagined and the ash was covering everything in an inch thick layer of toxicity. I had never really experienced a fire this close and I can honestly say that it is not en experience I would want to live through again.

When August came around we were anticipating the descend of our Welsh relatives on our desert paradise. We love them dearly and enjoy having them around, so August turned out to be a great month. When they arrived so did the annual monsoon season. The famous desert dry air turned into a swamp and although my hair turned into an afro my skin became luminous (yeah for rains in the middle of summer!). Since the rellies live in Wales they appreciated the heat and humidity and played outside every day. 

August was also the month two of my best friends packed their belongings and headed to New York City to start a four year law degree. We had a good bye party that fit them well and plenty of tears were shed, a few even rolled down my cheeks. With their departure an era came to a close that had started three years earlier with a bare chest during a Tuesday night track workout. Boo and Boo, for purely selfish reasons I wish you had chosen San Diego for grad school location but I know you are happy in your new locale and I wish you only the best. But that does not mean we don’t miss you here! Barely had we recovered from the Boo and Boo’s Good Bye when we were introduced to the “Governor from the great State of Alaska”… At which point I was not certain we would actually get to see 2009.

September came around fast and was the month in which my volunteer work for the political campaign went into full gear with phone banks into the swing states of Nevada and New Mexico. To say that is was inspiring would be an understatement. I can not recall being this energized about a “project”. It was also the month of the first Presidential debate. We had only seen the beginning… This was also the month I joined the local running club and started weekly track workouts. Those workouts have turned out not to be for the faint of heart and are just what I needed! Stay tuned!

And so October was upon us and looking back it is a blur of campaign tactics the likes of which this country had never seen. We saw the worst of one of the candidates and continued to see the best of the other, hoping that those famous “undecided voters” could see through the muck and get the clear picture of what was at stake here. This was also the month when I innocently launched an email debate with one of my friends (who I mistakingly assumed was voting the same way I would) that took on a life form of its own. Days went by where I was online without break, nights ended up sleepless at my desk writing about American History starting at the founding fathers and ending up in Germany’s health care system. It was awesome! Then I died!

But finally we made it to November and for that month I have only four words: President-elect Barack Obama!!!

As with every year December came around way too fast. It seems that every year time goes by at a more excellerated pace. As a kid it took forever for Christmas to come around, now if we blink we miss it. Maybe it is our age catching up with us, maybe we are just not enjoying every day as much as we should and as we did as children. But every year the New Year comes around sooner than planned. We had very quiet Holidays and have this week been visited by two sets of friends. Tonight we will ring in the New Year with a running buddy that ran my Boston qualification marathon with me and his girlfriend who ran my last marathon with me. I could not ask for anything more to bid 2008 farewell and welcome 2009!

Happy New Year!

Today’s Running Tip: Set realistic goals for the year ahead!

The best way to stick to a running plan as the new year begins is to set goals that can actually be achieved. This will allow you to stay motivated and successful in your running endeavors.

20 years ago this week my uncle passed away. His name was Reinhold but as long as I could remember he was “Holdi” to me. Holdi was married to my mom’s only sibling, my aunt Irene. They did not have any children of their own and were like second parents to me. Even though my grandparents lived in the same house as my parents and I, my aunt and uncle were really the only people my parents trusted to look after me when I was an infant. They had a crib set up in their guest room and were always more than willing to babysit me. As they lived just a 30 minute drive from us this was an easy and welcome arrangement. I remember spending every possible moment with them and Holdi became one of the most important people in my life. I admired and looked up to him. His patience with me was as endless as my love for him and my childhood is marked with nothing but fond memories of our times together. As a certified ski instructor he taught me how to ski before I could walk properly and was the first person to speak to me in English, the language I eventually adopted as my main form of communication.

The company Holdi started to work for when I was about eight years old send their director level employees to different locations every two years and when I was 10 years old my aunt and uncle moved to Vienna. My sheltered world as I had known it fell apart and I felt helpless, waving as their moving van rolled away towards Austria. For the next eight years I planned all of my vacations around flights and (when I was old enough) train rides to Vienna, where I spent my time whenever school was out. I could not wait for those trips, counting down the days and marking them off on my calendar. Whenever I arrived in Vienna my life felt complete again. Weeks filled with day long hikes through the Austrian Alps, spring skiing in Obertauern, balmy evenings in the local Heuriger, historical excursions through one of the most amazing cities in the world. All highlighted by endless conversations with one of the wisest people I knew. After two years in Vienna Holdi got word that his company was going to send him to Sydney. By this time his love for Vienna was strong enough to make him quit his job and become a self employed, independent broker. Imagine my joy!

Holdi was a tall, muscular guy, active and energetic. Whereas all of us suffered through flu and cold seasons on a regular basis, Holdi enjoyed perfect health. But unfortunately this was about to change in a more devastating way than any of us could imagine.

The spring after I came to America Holdi woke up one morning with what he thought was a tennis elbow. Being an avid tennis player this was the most logical explanation for the stiffness radiating from his right wrist to his elbow.  Over the next week he did some strength exercises, took anti inflammatories hoping that this would take its course and he’d be back on the tennis court in no time. But it was not to be. After another couple of weeks the stiffness had radiated all the way up his arm to his shoulder. Still convinced that this was nothing more than a temporary sports injury he tried massages and heat therapy at home but to no avail. Then one day he lost feeling in his left hand and a day later his entire left arm was unusable. He finally made an appointment to see his Internist but writing it off as a non emergency he was not seen immediately and by the time the appointment came around he was dragging his left foot.

The doctor had no explanation for his ailment and sent him to a neurologist. After a battery of tests Holdi finally got the answer he thought he had been looking for, but it was far from the answer he was hoping for. At the age of 58 my uncle was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis, ALS for short. The disease made (in)famous by Lou Gehrig…

My family collectively decided that it was best for me not to know the extend of my uncle’s illness. They “did not want to worry me now that I was living so far away”. Don’t ask! There are not enough letters in the alphabet to explain their logic. If you have ever watched “The Special Section” Episode of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” you will find parallels to how my family handles communication in light of crisis. Eventually my uncle could no longer pick up, much less hold the phone when I called Vienna so in order to keep my suspicion to a minimum my parents and aunt told me that he had problem with muscle weakness. But I had a weird feeling all along and after my dad (bless him!!!) went to visit my aunt and uncle in the fall he called me immediately to tell me that things were not looking good. It was obvious he was holding back tears which alarmed me more than anything had ever worried me before that day. Save to say that this was devastating and since I had already planned a trip to Germany for Christmas I immediately made plans to visit Vienna as well.

On December 21st, I flew from San Francisco to London to spend the Holidays in North Wales with Hubby’s relatives. The coincidence of the Lockerbie disaster unfolding a mere 330 miles north of London as we touched down in Heathrow should have been a sign for things to come. After a week of festivities in the Welsh countryside I flew to Duesseldorf to visit my parents for a few days and was then going to make my way to Vienna. It was not to be! When I arrived in my hometown my parents tried to hide the news from me as best as they could but I knew immediately that something was not right. Holdi had passed away that morning. He had succumbed to his illness within a year and a half, unusually fast even for such a grave disease. My world as I had known it came off its axis just a little and the sorrow I felt cut deep into my soul. I realized in that moment when my dad broke the news to me that my life would never be the same. I had lost one of the constants in my life that provided a sense of security. What I did not know back then was just how much the loss would mean.

The next few days were a blur of taking an overnight train to Vienna, making arrangements to have Holdi’s body transported back to Germany, getting his estate in order and taking the train back to Germany with my aunt, all within five days. Then there was the funeral, a rainy cold day that matched my mood and those of the 100+ people who came from all over the world to pay their last respects to a man who was admired by many but did not come even close to the level of admiration his only niece had for him. 

I left to go back to the States the day after his funeral. “Getting away” and being alone with my grief, surrounding myself with people who did not know him, seemed to be the best option. Holdi was the first person close to me that passed on and it took me almost a year to get over the initial shock. Over the years I lost my grandparents and my mom but I never felt the same sorrow that I had felt that cold, foggy December day when my chance to say “Good Bye” to one of the people I held dearest were swept away by a flood of tears. I learned later that his body had withered down to almost nothing incredibly fast and when he died he was a mere shell of his former self. I have often wondered if it was meant to be that I did not get to see him in his final state but can always remember him as the vital, fit man of my childhood. 

Besides my dad and grandfather Holdi was the first man I was close to and the first person that taught me what it means to miss a person forever.

Today’s Running Tip: Run for charity!

A good way to get into running races is signing up for a charity run. Running for a cause and training with people who have the same goal can be a great motivator for staying on track with training.

Delights

Holiday Parties

cranberry sauce

white lights outlining the house

crowded malls

tea lattes

fresh snow

skiing

salted caramel hot chocolate

cookie baking

Displeasures

colored lights

egg nog (GAG!)

Xmas movies

blow up lawn ornaments

fog

gingerbread

fireplaces

Xmas music

travel nightmares

Today’s Running Tip: Getting over Holiday sluggishness!

To get back into your running routine after the Holidays start off with easy jogs through the neighborhood. Don’t push yourself immediately because you want to make up for the runs you might have missed and burn all the extra calories you might have consumed. To avoid injury and set back, slowly build up mileage every day until you are back to your regular schedule.

It’s Boxing Day! My second most favorite day of the year (my most favorite happens in June). “Boxing Day”! It even has a great sound to it. Something of substance. Why is this day my almost favorite? Because waking up on this day means that Christmas is over! Finished! Done! Finito! Vorbei! And no, you would not be the first person to call me Grinch. I earned the badge and wear it with pride! 

Honestly, I am not sure where my disdain for this holiday stems from. Even as a kid I could not wait for it all to be over. Maybe the fact that I never really got what I wanted for presents has something to do with it although I’d hate to think that I would be so shallow as to make this all about consumerism. What I usually unwrapped was something that my mom wanted for me. So excuse my disappointment. In Germany we celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve and by the time the 25th rolled around you could usually find me on a train heading towards Austria for a ski vacation with my aunt and uncle. Now, that was something I loved, something I always looked forward to, something I really really wanted. 

And it’s not that I have no tried. For many years I convinced myself that if only I tried hard enough I could embrace it all. I gathered and collected all the trimmings that make a house “christmas-y”, even got a real fake tree (getting a living one was just a bit too traumatizing even for someone trying to bring in the Holiday Cheer) and hung lights, ornaments, and chili peppers (don’t ask). For years I gave myself a prep talk in late fall to just suck it up and let the holiday spirit sweep me up on its angelic wings. Only to come crushing down in a heap of tangled lights by mid December. Finally I just had to let go of the forced warmth and face the hard cold reality instead. I do not like Christmas!!! There I said it!

In fact pretty much everything about the Holidays drives me around the twist. From the decorations, the constant jingle music wherever you go, the TV ads filled with cheerful people crying over the most tasteless jewelry money could possibly buy, to the road rage that seems to be descending upon us right before Thanksgiving and usually coming to a climax on Christmas Eve. 

And we have not even touched on the traditions… cutting down a perfectly healthy tree, dressing it up in shiny balls and wrapping it in popcorn string, singing group songs completely off tune, traumatizing young children with an overweight old man draped in red velvet, stuffing fowl with bread and forcing yourself to spend time with people you usually do not choose to talk to – also known as relatives.

I am very happy to report that hubby and I see eye to eye on this and have all but banned anything from the house that resembles the Holidays even remotely. Last year we threw out the last remnant and have not replaced it. Life goes on. We got used to it. And the fact that we continue to live is only one of many reminders of how well life can be lived without the Christmas panic. For us is has become just another day, no fuss, no muss. We like it that way, it’s our tradition. So there!

Not to get derailed from our routine we spent yesterday’s festivities just as we like them by sleeping in late, walking the dog, going for a long run (me), finishing up a bit of work (Hubby), and going out for dinner at a very sparkly place.

Yeah for traditions!

Courtesy Cartoon Network

Today’s Running Tip: Kickboxing is a great cross training activity!

Kickboxing strengthens your core. Strong core muscles maintain the stability of the spine and are key in supporting a strong and enduring stride during your runs. 

It’s Christmas Eve and I am wondering. Is it just me or is there a direct correlation between the amount of Christmas lights hanging from the rooftops and blow up nativity figurines romping in the front yard and the state of decay of said house? It seems that the amount of cars without wheels propped up on cinder blocks on the front dirt lawn is somehow in direct proportion to the festive decorations in view. Last night as I made my way to the gym I took the usual short cut through a street that is usually cluttered by rusty old vans, toddlers in diapers running around barefoot and mothers yelling from the balconies. As I turned the corner I was blinded by the shameless display of Holiday cheer and it was all I could do not to come to a grinding halt in fear that I had come upon an encounter of the third kind. 

As I slowly made my way passed giant candy canes leaning like towers in Pisa, humongous golden bows unraveling from rafters, wginormous snow globes blowing fake snow flakes, larger than life Jack-in-the-Box-Elfs rearing their rather creepy heads, I could not help but feel dismayed by the feeling of my retinas being slowly melted. And I wondered how we had arrived here? How did we go from wrapping a few lights around outside trees, hanging the occasional lightbulb chain from window sills to what seems like a race to be the first house seen from space? For some reason it also seems that this year people want to show their appreciation for the invention of plastic and gaudiness even more so than in previous years. Is this the effect of a tanking economy? We show we are “making it” by displaying a snowman invasion in our yards? 

Which brings me back to my original thought that for some reason unbeknownst to me, houses that seem to be held together with one rusty nail are the ones most lit up this time of year.

Happy Holidays everyone! May your next electric bill not shock you into the next millennium!

Today’s Running Tip: Be sure you are visible while running in the dark!

During these months of late sunrises and early sunsets be sure you are wearing light colored clothing while running during the early morning or late afternoon and evening hours. It is also highly advisable to wear clothing with extra reflective material, maybe even a light around your head.