I never wanted to get married! Ever! Even as a child and young adult I found the institution of marriage so “old school”, something so mundane I did not want any part of it. In fact I still did not want to get married on December 1st, 1994.
Yet! Sixteen years ago today I woke up, went for a 6 mile run, took a shower, put on a pair of white jeans and black hiking boots, went down to the Santa Clara Superior Court House and tied the knot!
When I say I did not want to get married just over a month prior to this event I have to qualify that the subject of marriage had definitely come up a couple of times, but David and I never really elaborated on the possibility. It also needs to be mentioned that he was still legally married on December 1st, 1994, a status that would not change until New Year’s Eve ’94. Happy New Year indeed!!! Even though marriage was talked about openly I never really seriously considered it until my now sister- and brother-in-law came to visit us that Christmas. Anne and I had always gotten along, even before David’s divorce, and one of the first things she asked after stepping off the plane was when David and I were getting married. The proverbial “Never” flew out of my mouth immediately but Anne did not think I answered to her satisfaction and over the next few days she did not hesitate to bring the subject up a few more times. That New Year’s Eve David’s divorce was officially final and as we toasted to a New Year and a new era, a thought formed in both of our heads simultaneously: “We might as well!” Wait! What?
The next morning we told Anne, who had been in a limo on her way home with her deathly drunk ill husband, when the clock struck midnight and David realized he wanted to not just be any husband again, but mine! Anne was so excited for us and “since we had already decided it was going to happen we might as well do it while she and Phil were still in the States”. Whoa! It was a Sunday so nothing could really be done that day but first thing Monday morning I called the court, asked what needed to be done to get this accomplished and after finding out that all we needed were birth certificates and David’s divorce papers we set the date for the following Friday, even though David had a meeting scheduled in the early afternoon. Yes, that’s right, this is how we like to roll.
And sure enough, Friday rolled (!!!) around and we all filed into the Jeep and made our way to San Jose through pouring rain. David picked up his freedom papers, which quite appropriately were being held in the basement of the Family Court, then we went over to the main court house where we found the “Wedding Counter” (I am not even kidding!), filed all the necessary paper work and got our marriage license which allowed us to get married anywhere in California within the following six month. We chose the venue we were already in and scheduled the afternoon for our ceremony. We might as well! Phil, Anne, and I went to lunch while David went to his meeting at Oracle before we all met up again for the actual wedding on the third floor in Municipal Court Judge John Pasco’s chamber. But not before Judge Pasco presided over a criminal case where the subject was brought into the third floor courtroom in an orange jumpsuit and shackles, and we stood in as witnesses for the happy couple who was in line before us. Afterwards it was our turn and over before we knew it. Anne cried, I smiled!
My mom was stunned into silence when I called her after the fact, . Believe me when I say that this had only happened a couple of times that I remember, one of which was the time I blacked out from alcohol poisoning in High School. Her only daughter, heck, her only child, had gotten married without her even knowing! In jeans! She eventually got over it and both her and my dad welcomed David into their lives as if he was their own son (the son my mother had hoped for when she was pregnant with me!).
16 years have passed since that day I threw out all of my resolve to never be a wife. I never looked back! To say that my change of heart was the right decision is an understatement. Although I had known for quite some time that David was the man I would spend the rest of my life with, license or not, I could not ask for a better husband. It has certainly not been all champagne and chocolate covered strawberries over here but we both realized early on that compared to what we had been through before we finally made our relationship official, nothing could tear us apart. Absolutely nothing! In fact every challenge has only brought us closer. Of course it also helps that David has the patience of a saint, is more driven than any other person I know and as hard a worker. His undying optimism has helped us weather many a storms, and so has his amazing ability to always work through any challenge that might be thrown his way. From the first day we moved in together David has always put me and our relationship first, has supported my need for running freedom, and accepted my weird attitude towards food and eating dinner as late as possible. He also buys me soy lattes or caramel frappuccinos whenever I want one or the other. We have had some incredibly good times together and I cannot wait for the adventures our future may hold.
Looking back on that day 16 years ago I quickly realized that this was really the only way I was ever going to go through with a “wedding”. David was game to do whatever I wanted, big or small, and the way it turned out was truly my day, including the reception dinner at TGIF (hey, it was good back then!).
At least my jeans were white!
Today’s Running Tip: Getting married? Go for a run!
Going for an easy run is one of the greatest stress reducers. So any time you face a situation that could potentially freak you out a run can do wonders for calming your nerves and refreshing your mind!